Giving Thanks

Sellwood Waterfront Park, Portland Or

Picture taken from Portland Ground: Pictures of Portland Oregon

A year ago I moved to Portland, Or from the lovely, sometimes burning hills of Calabasas, Ca. Calabasas is known for being the back drop for many awful (but oh so lovely) reality shows like the Newlyweds and Keeping up with the Kardashians. I think the Dash family does a lovely job showing how the average millionaire in Calabasas lives. It’s a scary, yet true depiction of a suburban town that houses celebrities, their family and kids, and their random teacup dog breeds.

After I graduated from California State University, Northridge with my B.S. in Business Admin., Marketing (so what if I didn’t go to USC, I did pay for it myself…no Mommy and Daddy paying this bill), I decided to step out of the rat race and live amongst what I deem “normal” people. Living in Portland has been a God send. Instead of trying to out dress tweens wearing Louis Vuitton and out live 40 year old house wives who shop for a living and swipe their Black titanium American Express Card like it’s a Starbuck’s gift card, I can finally be Pam.

I am poor, I wear second hand clothing because I can afford it, I make handmade jewelry because its way better than store bought Claire’s, I am sober, and I finally feel like I belong somewhere.

A home made gift I made for my friend Staci. Vegan friendly.

Despite the craziness at work and the random turmoil at home, I am thankful for this: Having a job, friends, a house, a man and a life to live in Portland.

Cheers!
P. Hobbs

Visualization Light

Today my friend Becca joins the Quarter Life club. She is now in Pittsburg getting her Masters and I am so proud of the growth she has made the past year. Becca lived down the street from me in Sherman Oaks when we were both living in LA. It was heaven having her live so close. Half way in between us was 24 Hour Fitness and we always motivated each other to get our butts to the gym. If we happened to walk to 24 in the afternoon, we had a particular ritual to get us amped. It was silly, but it worked.

At the time, I was reading one of my many self help books, and this particular one said that visualizing your success would help you reach your goals faster. So B and I put this thought into action. When we hit this one traffic light (aka the visualization light), where the gym was in plain sight, we would start visualizing having the best work out of our life.

While visualizing our life changing workout, we would spontaneously jog in place, pretend to wipe sweat from our brow, grunt, stretch, give each other high fives…basically do whatever to get us totally amped. People in LA like to stare at weird people, so of course we got crazy looks. Not to mention, this light happened to be at one of the BUSIEST off-ramps in LA, so multiply the looks times ten. The beauty of it was, we didn’t care. Every time we walked into that gym we were pumped and ready to sweat. 98 % of the time when we got out of the gym, we claimed it was the best work out of our life, and that was the point.

Now think if you could do this in every aspect of your life.

A nugget of info from Daniel Teitelbaum’s book:

Most of the top performers I’ve interviewed have told me that they have always been able to visualize future successes in tremendous detail…and along with that, may of them have told me that they have felt that having this trait gave them an enormous level of belief that they had the power to create their lives as they wanted.

In this day and age, almost all of the world-class and Olympic athletes are trained by sports psychologists to vividly visualize themselves winning way before they start their competition…because they know that by calling up the powerful emotions of victory before they start to play, these athletes program themselves and put themselves in the mindset to find a way to win.

Make it happen. We are only a quarter of our way there. Think about what we can really accomplish in our life time if we use our imagination to our benefit.

Happy Birthday B. Remember to do it for you and no one else. We love you.

Picture by the Shopping Sherpa

Cheers.
P.Hobbs

Gratitude

Photo by Ravange

Sorry for the absence. Life has been pretty hectic lately and unfortunately QLDM sat in the backseat for a few weeks. The blog is now sitting shotgun and I am refocusing on things that make me feel good. I have reconnected to the blogging world and caught up on my favorite blogs and fell across this post, which reminded me of a few, healthy habits I had in LA.

Gratitude means thankfulness, counting your blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging everything that you receive. It means learning to live your life as if everything were a miracle, and being aware on a continuous basis of how much you’ve been given. Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present. In addition, behavioral and psychological research has shown the surprising life improvements that can stem from the practice of gratitude. Giving thanks makes people happier and more resilient, it strengthens relationships, it improves health, and it reduces stress.

After watching The Secret (I know I know), I started carrying around a gratitude rock. When you put the rock in your pocket in the morning or take it out of your pocket at the end of the night, the rock reminds you to reflect on all the things you are grateful for. So, I have started to carry around my gratitude rock again.

If you are one of my friends, beware, you might get a rock from me.

Let us start the new week being aware of all the many blessings we have in our life. I hope this week goes better for you than last week.

Cheers.
P.Hobbs

Only for today

What a wonderful weekend! It’s always hard to go back to work after 3 days of fun and carefree activities. I found this and it reminded me of my life purpose.

"The daily Decalogue of Pope John XXIII":

1) Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without
wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2) Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will
dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behaviour;
I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone
except myself.

3) Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to
be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.

4) Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all
circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.

5) Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good
reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so
good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.
6) Only for today, I will
do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.

7) Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if
my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.

8) Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to
the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils:
hastiness and indecision.

9) Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the
good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.

10) Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be
afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12
hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I
had to do it all my life.

To conclude: here is an all-embracing resolution: "I want to be kind, today
and always, to everyone".

Self Love

I don’t know what’s been in the water lately, but relationship turmoil has been the talk of the town. I feel blessed that my relationship with Nick (my singing, farting, boogie bear) is still going strong after four years. Our relationship is not perfect and we have had a many screaming matches that seemed like we were on the verge of breakup. Communication is the key, and even though at times you want to stab your partner in the eye because you are so frustrated, it will get you nowhere.

Sometimes behaviors don’t change. Boundaries will be crossed, deal breakers will be broken and you have to ask yourself…is this relationship worth all the heart break? My girl friend shared her breakup letter with me and I think it's BRILLIANT. It shows inner strength, honesty, and most importantly self love.

_____,

I had hand written this letter to you on one of my many sleepless nights but I did not know how to get it to you so I am sending it to you via email. Sorry for it being so impersonal but I can't do it in person so this will have to suffice.

I have thought about how this letter was going to go many many times. Sometimes it was angry, sometimes sad, but it never seemed to sum up what I really wanted to say to you. So with that, I am just going to write from my heart and hope that you understand.

As I sit here I think back to the good times. You trying to kiss me on the hammock, wrestling on the beach, finding the big dipper, our wonderful late night snuggles and it makes me smile. It was perfect, we were perfect. However good they were the time has come for me to move forward with my life while you remain stuck to the past. You are to insecure to stand up for me but more importantly stand up for yourself and what you want. Or at least what you said you wanted.

I am not going to sit here and tell you that I need you because I don't. I WANT more than anything to be with you but I don't need you and am no longer able to tolerate the treatment I have been given. I can trust you no longer. You have shown through your actions what is really important to you, which is not our future. I am not willing to sacrifice mine and continue to get hurt while you decide who you want to be with. What is important to me is honesty and integrity in every aspect of life even if it means hurting someone you care for. Honesty is always the best policy.

You have been too afraid to break things off with _____. I will never understand why or what you were so afraid of because being stagnant and settling for something less than what you want is not something I have been or will ever be willing to do. To me that is worse than letting someone down when you know in the long run it will be better for everyone involved. Putting off the inevitable is exactly that... it will never be easy or a good time to do what needs to get done.

So here I am showing you first hand that it is possible. I am saying goodbye to us, to you, and to the future I was so excited about because it is the honest thing to do. I am not going to try to sit here and cushion the blow by saying we can be friends because I can't. Not right now. I need time to heal. You really hurt me and made me question my worth and I need to gain that strength back. I don't want to see you because it hurts too much. Please leave me alone. I will always wonder what could have been and know that it would have been perfect. I just wish you had been able to see that yourself.

Thank you for the good times, good luck with the rest of school. You will make an amazing nurse. Try to learn to stick up for yourself because you deserve the world and should really start acting like it.

Take care,
Lo

Lo’s “ah-ha” moment:

“This past week has been filled with wild emotions for me. After many sleepless nights and pros and cons lists, I gave my beautiful, strong and to the point letter to a guy whom I wish would see a future with me. At first I thought my “Ah –ha” moment was just having the strength to stand up for myself and my values, but I was wrong. That was growth on my part but the real “ah-ha” moment came after all this when I was feeling really down and pretty much on the verge of tears.

I kept asking myself "Why did he do this to me?" “Why can't I have a man?" "Why am I attracting these kind of men?" Pretty much just wallowing in my misery and getting deeper and deeper into a depression. I was letting the sadness get to me and I could see it affecting my life.

My boss said something to me that got me thinking. He said, "don't worry too much, worry will get you know where." I sat on that thought for awhile and then had my true Ah-ha moment. I can't control what is happening around me. I can't control how these people are treating me but I can change my reaction and choose to make an effort to avoid such situation again.

The next morning I woke up and said “I will not let anyone or anything affect my mood"

My time is valuable and I learned to tell people off when they are taking advantage of that. I learned that my thoughts are inclusive of that time and I should be filling them with uplifting thoughts, not devaluing my self worth because other people made me feel that way. I cannot allow someone else's insecurity's bring me down.

I think it’s funny that even though I told this guy to never talk to me again, I wish he would call me over and over again saying he wants to be with me. I am a sucker for happy endings, or for the Hollywood ideal happy ending I should say. Like every girl, I just want to be wanted. I am now starting to realize that maybe the happy ending doesn't necessarily involve two people; it should really involve you and your relationship with yourself. Maybe someday he will realize but until then my time is mine and I will continue to move forward with life not dwell on the past. Each day is a new battle. Sometimes I get angry still, sometimes sad but
for the most part I am at peace. I will take this experience and learn from
it.”

Let this be a lesson to every person who thinks they need a significant other.