Ok.
So I have been absent for a while…trying to get my thoughts right. It’s been a crazy few weeks for me and I am just trying to sort everything. I apologize for the word vomit in advance.
One of the things that have been plaguing me lately is that I feel guilty for missing my old life style.
Nick and I went to the Candlelight on Monday as usual. It’s a way that I can start the week off right by listening to fun music (thanks Keegan and Fam) and get some good people watching in. For some reason I really love the Candlelight. It’s nothing special, just a typical dive bar.
What I have realized is that this place symbolizes the old Pam.
Old Pam used to go out during the week, get trashed, party, meet people, break rules, listen to good music, and wander around without a care in the world. New Pam is sober and is stoked if she even gets out once…and it’s usually not at a bar. I have a plate full of responsibilities and sometimes I feel bogged down. I am not going to lie. I kind of miss old Pam. I feel like I am old and boring at the age of 26. SO NOT RIGHT!!!!
I know I need to focus on all the good things I have going on in my life because of my sobriety. Maybe I need to go to more meetings or meet more sober friends. Maybe this will all change once I see some income coming in from my projects. Who knows….maybe I need to see a therapist to get my thoughts right. My head is all out of wack.
It’s just one of those weeks.
Maybe I need some alone time.
So I have been absent for a while…trying to get my thoughts right. It’s been a crazy few weeks for me and I am just trying to sort everything. I apologize for the word vomit in advance.
One of the things that have been plaguing me lately is that I feel guilty for missing my old life style.
Nick and I went to the Candlelight on Monday as usual. It’s a way that I can start the week off right by listening to fun music (thanks Keegan and Fam) and get some good people watching in. For some reason I really love the Candlelight. It’s nothing special, just a typical dive bar.
What I have realized is that this place symbolizes the old Pam.
Old Pam used to go out during the week, get trashed, party, meet people, break rules, listen to good music, and wander around without a care in the world. New Pam is sober and is stoked if she even gets out once…and it’s usually not at a bar. I have a plate full of responsibilities and sometimes I feel bogged down. I am not going to lie. I kind of miss old Pam. I feel like I am old and boring at the age of 26. SO NOT RIGHT!!!!
I know I need to focus on all the good things I have going on in my life because of my sobriety. Maybe I need to go to more meetings or meet more sober friends. Maybe this will all change once I see some income coming in from my projects. Who knows….maybe I need to see a therapist to get my thoughts right. My head is all out of wack.
It’s just one of those weeks.
Maybe I need some alone time.
Cheers,
Pic via drburtoni
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