Quick and Dirty Breakdown

Posting this video simply because I love this song.

I had a quick and dirty metal/emotional breakdown last night. I learned one of the most important life lessons one can learn. What’s funny is that I thought I had already learned this lesson, but apparently I got back in the same bad habit. The universe had to hit me in the face with this lesson. My swollen, puffy eyes were proof this morning.

If you can learn one important lesson during your short stay here on earth, it is to put yourself first. Sounds so easy, right? NOT!

Here is where it all went wrong for me....I thought I had to work 12 hour days to be a good store manager. At the end of the day, I have no energy to go to the gym. I also find myself wanting to take care of people and end up in one way toxic relationships. I have MASSIVE anxiety about my upcoming trip to LA. My crappy body image even showed its ugly face last night. Where does this all stem from? Not putting myself first.

If I put myself first, I would work 8 hour days like normal retail employees. Then I would have enough energy to get my butt to the gym and have the best work out of my life. If I did that on a daily basis, my guess is I would feel a lot better about myself than I did last night. If I worked out my body image would get better, and then I wouldn’t have so much anxiety about walking around all the beautiful people in LA. If I put myself first, I would know when to get out of a toxic relationship instead of staying in the relationship to feel “needed.” I need myself, damnit.

This 30 minute breakdown took 2 weeks to manifest. I didn’t really see it coming. I blamed it all on hormones. My mom always said not to blame your emotions on PMS. There is always something underneath; the PMS just magnifies your emotional state regarding said issue.

Let’s see if I can keep this one going. I will let you know how it goes.

To do:
Monday. Check.
Tuesday. Get there when I wake up at 615.

Cheers.
P.Hobbs